Not that I expect anyone to read it but I sure hope that there are some people out there who can relate to this.
Generally I tend to be abstract about stuff but this, now, is too personal for me to be detached and aloof .
My defense mechanism over the years has been denial. I pack up all unpleasant /traumatic things in one corner of my brain and pretend that it never happened.
But when life forces you to look the worst part of your life in the eye, whole of your world crumbles around you .
When you are tortured to the point that it breaks your spirit .
When you realise that your society is such that your future looks abysmal in all possible directions.
When you lived by this same society's rules all your life and yet it will abandon you for one factor alone.
When a really intelligent and worldly wise person tells you that in india if a girl, no matter how talented, ends up marrying the wrong person then her life is finished .
When you married a man older than you who fails to find his voice when confronted with people even for a right cause.
When your husband' s sister is a a bitch comparable to his mother who left no stone unturned in making your life hell.
When that motherfucking shiteating sister cares only about dominating her parents household along with her own in laws place.
When that same bitch was told by you that her mother is torturing you so much that in your eighth month of pregnancy you are losing weight like anything and that you Are worried for the health of the baby about to be born just laughed in your face.
When that same bitch advises your husband to not talk to you.
When your husband satnds by watching your wear down on a daily basis without coming to your rescue and still calling himself a man.
When that same bastard lets his mother and his brother defame you in the conservative indian society.
When that same bastard allows his mother to abuse you.
When his sister dictates if you can step out of the house or not.
When his mother makes a ruckus every time you go for a pregnancy monthly checkup claiming that its not required and again abuses you.
When these bastards defame you lime anytjing and continue in the same vein.
When this wretched husband refuses to even meet with you to talk .
For all the prayers I have said in my life I call upon you God to do justice and give me strength and show me the light that evades me.
Generally I tend to be abstract about stuff but this, now, is too personal for me to be detached and aloof .
My defense mechanism over the years has been denial. I pack up all unpleasant /traumatic things in one corner of my brain and pretend that it never happened.
But when life forces you to look the worst part of your life in the eye, whole of your world crumbles around you .
When you are tortured to the point that it breaks your spirit .
When you realise that your society is such that your future looks abysmal in all possible directions.
When you lived by this same society's rules all your life and yet it will abandon you for one factor alone.
When a really intelligent and worldly wise person tells you that in india if a girl, no matter how talented, ends up marrying the wrong person then her life is finished .
When you married a man older than you who fails to find his voice when confronted with people even for a right cause.
When your husband' s sister is a a bitch comparable to his mother who left no stone unturned in making your life hell.
When that motherfucking shiteating sister cares only about dominating her parents household along with her own in laws place.
When that same bitch was told by you that her mother is torturing you so much that in your eighth month of pregnancy you are losing weight like anything and that you Are worried for the health of the baby about to be born just laughed in your face.
When that same bitch advises your husband to not talk to you.
When your husband satnds by watching your wear down on a daily basis without coming to your rescue and still calling himself a man.
When that same bastard lets his mother and his brother defame you in the conservative indian society.
When that same bastard allows his mother to abuse you.
When his sister dictates if you can step out of the house or not.
When his mother makes a ruckus every time you go for a pregnancy monthly checkup claiming that its not required and again abuses you.
When these bastards defame you lime anytjing and continue in the same vein.
When this wretched husband refuses to even meet with you to talk .
For all the prayers I have said in my life I call upon you God to do justice and give me strength and show me the light that evades me.
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