Why am I soooo cynical? I have had a fairly good life. Could it be that I dig inflicting misery on myself. Does that mean I am a masochist? ?? Not really. Not a masochist surely.
In the most grave of matters life did ditch me . I believed ...I believed in the couples are made in heaven crap. I wasnt looking for a shining armor but may be a friend.? How did I come to believe so surely that no good could ever come out of being in a romantic relationship. My mind keeps going back to a conversation I had with a friend where I was busy explaining how I was never foolish enough to trouble /fuck up my life by being in a relationship. And this person simply states .....did you ever consider the fact that relationships can be nice? I was bowled. I still stand right where I was. How did this sad inception take place? Coz I know for a fact leo DiCaprio was never inside my head. Sorry. Poor even for a PJ.
So relationships. Can they really be nice or is it another never ending game. From where I am standing, the relationships where people complete each other are a myth.
I think what also added fuel to it was the fire that consumed my best friend. She always said that she was an optimist and brave . And I believed her too. But when it came to the grind she turned out far more craven than I. I, the queen of pessimisland . The Queen nonetheless.
And I never so much as shouted at her or shook her up telling her what the fuck man . What are you doing. You only get one life.
Nor did I ever question her if she didn't die a lil inside while betraying me so. We were supposed to be sisters. Bloody friends forever. Even fucking studies show that people who ve been friends for 7 years or more are likely to stay friends all their lives. But no when the going gets tough she doesn't take a stand . Instead she drinks the piss of her abusers.
But hey! I would never say.
In the most grave of matters life did ditch me . I believed ...I believed in the couples are made in heaven crap. I wasnt looking for a shining armor but may be a friend.? How did I come to believe so surely that no good could ever come out of being in a romantic relationship. My mind keeps going back to a conversation I had with a friend where I was busy explaining how I was never foolish enough to trouble /fuck up my life by being in a relationship. And this person simply states .....did you ever consider the fact that relationships can be nice? I was bowled. I still stand right where I was. How did this sad inception take place? Coz I know for a fact leo DiCaprio was never inside my head. Sorry. Poor even for a PJ.
So relationships. Can they really be nice or is it another never ending game. From where I am standing, the relationships where people complete each other are a myth.
I think what also added fuel to it was the fire that consumed my best friend. She always said that she was an optimist and brave . And I believed her too. But when it came to the grind she turned out far more craven than I. I, the queen of pessimisland . The Queen nonetheless.
And I never so much as shouted at her or shook her up telling her what the fuck man . What are you doing. You only get one life.
Nor did I ever question her if she didn't die a lil inside while betraying me so. We were supposed to be sisters. Bloody friends forever. Even fucking studies show that people who ve been friends for 7 years or more are likely to stay friends all their lives. But no when the going gets tough she doesn't take a stand . Instead she drinks the piss of her abusers.
But hey! I would never say.
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